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June 2007: What's In This Issue

1. The Corporate Curmudgeon: Me, The Accidental Jerk
2. J.T. and Dale Talk Jobs: Back at Mom and Dad's Place

Me, The Accidental Jerk

By Dale Dauten

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
Douglas Adams

If you want to see people at their best, all you have to do is step on them. You know how it is when you get elbowed or knocked aside -- if the other person is shocked and apologetic, you limp on, smiling bravely and being big about it. They say, "Pardon me," and you do.

Notice, though, that the pardoning hinges on the other person recognizing the fault, owning up to it, and asking for forgiveness. That's common with stepping on a person's toes, but far less likely when stepping on a person's time, dignity or career. What I'm getting to here is "the accidental jerk." The chief culprits are managers, and only recently have I come to admit that I am guilty of being one of them. I think you might be one, too.

What got me thinking about accidental jerkiness was watching a video from the folks at ej4, an online training company out of St. Louis. The creator of that video, Ken Cooper, tells me that one of my columns gave him the idea. That may sound like a bit of accidental insult (I read you and thought of jerks) but it wasn't. Rather, I was writing about executives who decrease productivity, and thus they aren't really practicing leadership. What to call what they do, this anti-leadership? I needed a new word for the art of de-motivation and came up with "impedership."

The notion and the word appealed to Cooper and he decided to undertake an experiment. He got his team together and started talking about all the ways that they had been de-motivated by management at any time in their careers. The result was a wickedly useful video. (Should you have trouble, just put "impedership" into Google and it will get you a link.)

However, as I watched it, chuckling at the stupidity of bosses, I suddenly recognized myself in one of the examples. And then it happened again. Yes, I was an accidental jerk.

One of the things I used to do, before the video, was when someone came in my office and I was writing on my laptop or reading email or the desktop, I would attempt to sneak in a bit of typing when the person wasn't watching. But of course they would know… they can hear. And that forced me to recall a client of mine who would always be typing while I was on the phone with him – and he'd called me. One time after asking me to repeat myself several times, he said merrily, excusing himself, "I'm multi-tasking." It was all I could do not to say, "By doing two things at once, you've cut your IQ in half and believe me, those 40 points really make a difference." Yet, here I was, seeing myself in Cooper's listing, doing something much the same, guilty of what he calls, "Treating people as an interruption."

And then there was another of Cooper's points, this one about "Rewarding people with more work." Guilty. Someone you work with is so good you go to them with the tough assignments and the lesser person is going home early, rewarded for being less good.

I was NOT (I hope) guilty of some of the other impedership traits, such as mistaking the concept of "executive" for "royalty," or blaming the system by saying, "I really wish I could give you a better raise, but the money's just not available. It's out of my control." But we've all worked for such managers.

Cooper reminds us of the old saying, "People don't leave their jobs, they leave their bosses." And he even suggests to managers that they watch his video with their employees and then ask, "Which of these do I do?"

That would take guts, but then again, think back to where we started, to how big people can be when the offense is accidental AND when it's acknowledged and owned up to and apologized for. Such openness about being an accidental jerk is capable of transforming "impedership" into leadership.

© 2007 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

My new writing partner, Jeanine "J.T." O'Donnell, has put together a new website for our column: please stop by and meet her at jtanddale.com.

Back at Mom and Dad's Place

By Jeannine Tanner O'Donnell and Dale Dauten

J.T. & Dale: I'm a college senior and I will soon be getting a degree in business, with a minor in history. Could you refer me to some good companies that are hiring college grads?

– Chris

J.T.: A lot of college students go around asking that question, and, unfortunately, many of them end up back at Mom and Dad's place, without a job. The problem lies in the generality of your approach. For example, what if I came up to you and said, "Hi, could you recommend a good store?" I doubt you would answer me without first asking questions like, "What do you want to buy?" and, "How much do you want to pay?" or even, "Why do you want to buy it?" Only then, could you begin to give me some recommendations.

Dale: It's a cliché that there are no dumb questions, and it's a cliché because it's true: If someone tells you why your question was dumb, you've learned a lot, so it wasn't a dumb question after all. But job seekers often ask useless ones, and waste contacts doing so. They ask, "Do you know anyone who's hiring?" When confronted with that question, most brains come up blank, or they do the equivalent of a Google search in the brain files on "hiring" and come up with "There's a Now Hiring banner out at Red Lobster." What's needed are questions that guide the ask-ees to better brain searches.

J.T.: I was recently hired by a fraternity to coach their brothers on how to understand the realities of the professional world, and that included how to tailor their approaches so they could find the best job opportunities. One of my students, Nick, said he wanted to "get into finance" upon graduation. But Nick, having never worked in anything but the restaurant industry, had no idea how to go about it. I helped him create a resume that reflected his compatibility with the financial world. Then I had him do his research and find a paid internship in financial planning and analysis that enabled him to start to understand the field and the vast array of careers within it. Nick will be graduating soon and has fine-tuned his search so well that he now knows exactly what he wants to do: Mutual Fund Wholesaling. To hear Nick talk about Mutual Fund Wholesaling is to think he's been working in the field already. Now all he needs is the right employer.

Dale: And he'll find one, because now he's able to ask better questions. He can develop lists of the best companies who hire such specialists, then ask everyone he knows or meets, "Do you know anyone at X or Y or Z?" If no, he can follow with, "Do you anyone who might?" Now that's a brain-Google that will eventually yield a valuable network in the field he wants to enter. When you aren't getting the answers you want, don't blame the people you ask, change the questions.

J.T. & Dale: I recently had a series of interviews for a very exciting job. Here's my question: If the last interviewer says "good luck to you" does that mean you did not make it?

– Craig

J.T.: I think the phrase "good luck" should be taken at face value. As the last person to interview you, I too would say something to the effect of "good luck." I would say it even if I knew I wanted to hire you, because I would have to wait until I regrouped with the other interviewers to get their feedback and make a group decision.

Dale: Agreed. "Good luck" is the workplace equivalent of "take care." Just a pleasantry. So, Craig, stop trying to read nuances and just assume you are indeed a contender. Don't sit back and hope, follow-up. Send those you met something more than a note – send follow-up thoughts, or enclose a relevant article or even propose some ideas. Everyone wants a good job, but some candidates separate themselves by proving they don't just want a job, they want to help.

© 2007 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

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